Words I Hate or Better Understand What You're Really Saying

The existence of words which pick out inconceivable concepts causes me some consternation. It isn't imaginary constructs like griffins and dragons that bother me, since we know that these words pick out a specific set of things which exist apart from the real world (well, most of us know that, anyhow). The words that bother me are words like "nothing," "magic," and "random."

"Nothing" is an interesting word since, unlike any other word, it is a label that becomes invalid once it is attached to any object or notion. Its meaning has spread to a variety of related uses, but it is this use in which it is assigned to pick out "the absence of stuff" which conflicts with my ideals. Aside from the lesser infraction of assigning a name to something which has no other qualities to define, I feel that the greater infraction is the false sense of complacency that such a naming creates. Having such a word tricks me into thinking that I can understand it, when the human mind is wholly incapable of understanding anything about the absence of anything as there aren't any attributes for us to examine.

"Magic" is a word I hate because at best (if it is "real") it picks out a necessarily unknowable technique and at worst (if it is fakery and illusion) it is a layered term which, at its heart, means nothing more than deception though attempts to cover it up with performance and grandeur.

I'll start with the worst case since it is vastly more frustrating, despite being simpler. The word "magic" and the act of doing magic are closely related and understanding one allow you to understand the other. Despite the simplicity of this all, the word is very clever at duping us. I feel a better term for the worst case of magic is "talent." A magic trick--or illusion--is nothing more than a technique which has been designed and rigorously rehearsed to deceive an audience. Is it "magic" when Peyton Manning throws a football between two defenders into the awaiting arms of his wide receiver? No. It is rehearsed and practiced. Is it "magic" when a surgeon delicately maneuvers to snip off an abnormal growth while avoiding the sensitive vessels around it? Nope. Somehow we expect these feats from these trained professionals, but are captivated by a man who practices repeatedly just how to shuffle a deck or pay attention to a small detail or bend his body in just the right way.

The "best" case of "magic" is an altogether different story. In this case I'm tapping into a power or source in order to perform various feats which cannot be explained. "Oh man, that guy just materialized fireballs!" The mechanism for this process is unclear. Where did the fire come from? How did I make it appear? How did I then command it to behave in the exact way I demanded? Being able to answer any question about the process would allow it to be studied as a science. But in order to remain in the realm of "magic" we have to not be able to know anything about it. And yet somehow the magician is able to perform his skills despite his necessarily not being able to understand anything about it.

Finally, "random" is one of the most misused words I can think of. The heart of the word is in a sense of disorder (but really it's more of a sense of fairness in which anything has just as much of an opportunity to occur as anything else), but it is often used to describe a conscious action which the speaker regards--for whatever reason--as either too complex for inspection or just confusing. "That was a random comment" does not mean "that comment was patternless or chaotic" but rather "I don't know why you said that." The closest thing I can think of to a truly random comment (since every word that leaves my mouth is a conscious decision at some level) is speaking in tongues, in which I just seem to turn my coherence filter to "low" and string together the most senseless string of sounds to throw anyone off my scent. "He must be speaking on tongues! No one could ever go hahablagastoppogaruugen unless they were touched by some divine presence!" If something truly had no form, no pattern to it, it would be incomprehensible to the human mind (fun fact: humans understand the world around them by breaking it down into patterns).

Your pictures folder is NOT random because you made a decision to put each and every one of those pictures in the folder!